It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish there were birth control emojis
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
