she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
