their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana