If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again