Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
