I'm pants shitting drunk right now
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
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Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers