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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Why are we friends again?

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• (415): View more from California

  I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

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• (561): View more from Florida

  No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God works in mysterious ways my friend.

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• (510): View more from California

  There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!

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