It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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