Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
