There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
