We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
