That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
