i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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