my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize