Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
