I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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