I don't usually arrange sex via text message
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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