I didn't shave. On purpose
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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