Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've blown a few things in my day
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize