Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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