Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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