All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
