Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize