I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
