I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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