You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I came so hard my ears popped.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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