My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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