We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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