Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
