can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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