I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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