god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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