no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
