Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
