Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
someone owes me an orgasm
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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