Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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