My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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