Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

(1-214): View more from Texas

we're not divorced.

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(845): View more from New York

don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

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(641): View more from Iowa

Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

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(816): View more from Missouri

My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door

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(316): View more from Kansas

She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave

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(212): View more from New York

My penis is lonely

(202): View more from Washington, DC

So is my ring finger

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