Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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