so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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