It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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