So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
