Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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