Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
