so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
