Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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