i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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