Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My vagina is officially offended.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
