Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
