it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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