i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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