All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
