My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
