I puked a lego.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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