I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
