Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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