Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
