You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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