its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
