You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
