Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
