ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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