He had one of those small greek statue penises
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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