But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
