Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
