yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
